1. In my store today a woman and her son ran into another woman and her son and they began talking about Easter break and la la la. It was all well and dandy until the one woman, in the snottiest voice I have ever heard, said, "I don’t know who decided these teachers deserved a whole week off of work. I mean, I love my son, but he is driving me completely insane."

    • Dear Lady: WHAT.
    • Dear Other Lady: You seriously just agreed with her?
    • Dear First Lady: WHAT?!?!

    I was shaking with anger the entire time because I can’t even begin to think through all the things wrong with her. Does she realize that the school board USUALLY makes Easter break this long? She just never realized it because they take away days from Easter break to make up the snow days. But this year, we didn’t have snow days. You were spared being snowed in with your children all winter, and you still complain. You bitch.

    Second, this is your son, and you’re sick of him?I mean, I get that, I do, but IT HASN’T EVEN BEEN A FULL WEEK YET. IMAGINE HOW HIS TEACHER FEELS. You selfish, arrogant, snobby bitch. Are you freaking. Kidding. Me. Imagine your son times 30 for 180 days. YEAH. 

    The best part was her son was standing next to her the whole time.

    As soon as the two women left, I turned to my co-worker who, like me, studied education, and we LOST IT. I didn’t realize there was another customer in the store, and she turned to us and goes, “I’ve been a teacher for thirty years and almost gave that idiot a piece of my mind.” 

    I can’t believe how dumb people are. 

  2. DUDES. SERIOUSLY? STOP. TAKING. PICTURES. It’s creepy and weird and disrespectful. It’s rude to turn someone’s death site into a tourist attraction, even if the guy was a fucking douchebag.

    Besides, you’re slowing up my mom’s commute, and that’s so not cool.

  3. The part that gets me is the pedestrian on the walkway, who’s just like, “Dum, dee dum, what a lovely day—wait, what is this? Why, it appears his truck has malfunctioned! Oh, that poor chap! Well, no matter, it’s not as if anyone would be stupid enou—”

    And that’s how Regina George died.

  4. This is the selling-point for the same pregnancy test that once said, “The first pregnancy test made especially for women.”

  5. The cover says “Praxis II: English Language, Literature, and Composition 0041” but inside? It’s preparing me for my Praxis I, 0710, 0720, 0730 tests. Which I already took.

    And they want to prepare me to teach? Ugh.

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