January 2009
4 tags
2 tags
space cowboy
Shannon: Becca, are space cowboys real?
Me: [long pause] Oh, Shannon.
Shannon: No, I'm being serious.
Me: Yes. It's a nickname for astronauts. Cowboys explored the west before it was populated. Astronauts are exploring space--
Shannon: Oh, I got it. So they're astronauts, but they wear cowboy clothes.
Me: [longer pause] No, Shannon.
Shannon: Don't they wear a sombrero?
Me: THAT'S MEXICANS, SHANNON.
Shannon: Oh, right, I mean cowboy hat. They're astronauts who wear cowboy hats.
Me: [longest pause] Sure, Shannon.
2 tags
1 tag
batons
I’m in the process of buying my conductor’s baton. This process needs to be simplified. Pick the handle, pick the weight, pick the color, pick the blah. Why can’t it be more like Harry Potter’s wand choosing, where the wand does the work and I can just sit back and shoot shit with magic?
1 tag
“Anticipate nothing, because it’s always worse in your head. We are capable of...”
– brain of John Krasinski
2 tags
1 tag
$10
$10 George Bush just told Barack, “Hahah SUCKER.”
1 tag
hope
whether coming from the left or right, Hope is always a good thing.
1 tag
it's lonely.
i’m pretty sure i’m the only republican/libertarian on tumblr.
1 tag
money
we’re running the presses like a potter sequel.
1 tag
farewell
it’s my last day home, and it’s snowing, and i like to think that it’s downingtown saying farewell.
1 tag
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you...”
– brain of Mark Twain
1 tag
“If I had my life to live over… I’d dare to make more mistakes next...”
– brain of Nadine Stair
2 tags
Watchhoosabrat:
Star Wars, as retold by someone who hasn’t seen it. (There are people who haven’t seen it?!)
So unreal. I peed myself.
1 tag
capitalism
i wish i had the money to buy more money.
2 tags
stress relief
Me: That'd be fun, actually.
Dad: What would?
Me: Punch a car.
Dad: [long pause] Idiot.
3 tags
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
“We don’t have to save the world. The world is big enough to look after...”
– brain of Douglas Adams
2 tags
novels
I like “young adult” books because they attempt to be nothing but whatever they are. It seems like sometimes, “adult” novels try to sound smarter or fancier so that they’ll win a big award but “young adult” just tell a story, and if it hits home, it hits home, and if it doesn’t, that’s okay too, but more often than not, it hits home. Because...
2 tags
be respectful.
Dad: [watching the news] You wouldn't go to a party after you killed me, right?
Me: No.
Dad: Good. It's disrespectful.
1 tag
retainer
Last night, my phone fell off my bed. It vibrated this morning (which would have felt more satisfying if it had remained in bed) and when I looked under my bed to find it, I found my retainer.
I don’t even remember when I got my braces off. Sometime in high school, before I was too old for braces and could have lost the popularity status that I didn’t have anyway. I wore my retainer...
1 tag
peeves
I am sick of the following:
o1. The word that when the word which could be used.
o2. When people say less when they mean fewer.
o3. Use of the word unique.
o4. People ending their sentences with prepositions.
o5. The penguin fad.
o6. The Pirates vs. Ninjas debate (clearly, Pirates win).
o7. Pretentious novels.
o8. Meaningful, moving ads that turn out to be for something totally gay, like...
1 tag
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
– brain of Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone
1 tag
1 tag
sea green
in my next life, i’ll be a marine biologist.
3 tags
1 tag
little secret
the growing popularity of zooey deschanel and her band makes me sad…they were my little secret.
2 tags
1 tag
2 tags
2 tags
1 tag
2 tags
“Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I...”
– brain of Mark Twain
1 tag
1 tag
be skinny
skinny jeans make you feel so artistic.
2 tags
1 tag
i blame fairytales.
I know it isn’t cliche to do so, but I blame the fairytales. All of these woman who are looking for their Happily Ever After, and it’s never something like a career or self-actualization, but a man. A man who is true, honest, loving, handsome, and kind. In other words, a Prince.
These Princesses, as far as we know, have never known heartbreak. Maybe they lack a parental figure or...
1 tag
queen sized beds
there’s nothing like sleeping in a queen sized bed to make you remember how lonely you really are.
1 tag
definition
if you can’t be happy in front of a roaring fire with your best friend (who you only see biannually), where can you be happy?
1 tag
1 tag
seat in the full upright position.
at times, all you need to relax is an 80s recliner.
1 tag
the twits
sometimes i think other people’s families will always be more satisfying than your own.
1 tag
optimism
i burned the roof of my mouth this morning, and it didn’t ruin my day.
2 tags
“I don’t play accurately-any one can play accurately-but I play with...”
– brain of Oscar Wilde, from The Importance of Being Earnest
2 tags
3 tags
mozzarella
Jenna: That guy wanted to buy you a drink.
Liz: Really? I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
2 tags
